Attitude

It can be amazing how much different attitude can make to how you feel and how you perceive experiences.

I was really grumpy earlier this week. I mean really in a foul mood. Haven't been that annoyed for a while. The source of my annoyance was this.

I have a race on this weekend which is the first of a Championship series. The series is made up of three races, he/she who gets the most points wins. Pretty standard stuff. However, on Wednesday I got news that the race that was supposed to be happening on Saturday was going to instead be combined with another race and done on Sunday. This decision was made to chase better weather conditions, as the conditions on Sunday look a lot better than Saturday.

This decision is actually pretty logical as it seeks to get the best conditions for those competing. However, for me it doesn't work as I can't race on Sunday. I have an absolutely, non negotiable family event on Sunday and so that is me out. This decision is what got me so annoyed. To be honest, I was a little baffled by the severity of my annoyance, it really ruined my day, I just couldn't shake it. I was surprised by how much the decision annoyed me. When I think about it objectively, I think my annoyance stems partly from tiredness, but also partly from the helplessness of the situation. I had done everything right, entered the right event, kept the day free etc and then through no fault of my own the chance to earn series points had been taken away from me. I think that is what got my blood boiling, the fact that there was nothing I could do about it. I am completely able to accept that the decision was the better one for the majority of the competitors, but it wasn't better for me and I couldn't help but get angry about that on a personal level. Still a bit annoyed about it if I am honest.

Following on from my annoying Wednesday I had some training sessions yesterday and I still didn't really enjoy them. I came out annoyed, grumpy and looking for negatives, not really willing to concede that there had been many good bits to the session. The sessions themselves also hadn't been  great quality because mentally I hadn't really been willing to push myself. I was down and annoyed and so when the going got tough, I eased off..

I contrast the training yesterday with the session I just had and the difference couldn't be greater. This afternoon I am feeling a bit happier about the world, I have had some sleep, got some distance and perspective from Wednesday and am generally feeling better. As a result I found the session this afternoon a load of fun. Arguably the conditions were worse today and there were a lot of reasons why today's session should have been less fun than yesterday, but in fact I found it quite the opposite. When it comes down to it, the only real difference between the sessions is attitude. Wednesday and Thursday I wanted to be annoyed and find the worst in things and today I was willing to go out and find some positives.

They say that life is what you make it. It can be good to get a reminder of that from time to time.