Today's visit to Dr Stobie was sort of my final one. Well it is my last one for quite some time anyway. My next one isn't until August sometime and I will have had another MRI of my heart by then.
Being my final visit to the Dr I have sort of being attaching a lot of significance to it mentally. In my head I had it being the BIG MOMENT, when my future would be decided. Train or Not. Race or Not. What would it be.
In reality it wasn't really that, and it was probably never going to be.
The guidance I have been getting from Dr Stobie has been consistent ever since I first saw him in February. There is a risk that is small, but not insignificant, of sudden cardiac death. How I choose to deal with that risk is up to me:
- I can stop all exercise and decrease the cardiac risk, but probably increase my risk of heart disease etc by being sedentary.
- I can ignore the risk and keep racing and just take my chances.
- I can do a sensible level of exercise that is somewhere in between.
As I have had more treatment and more tests the advice has tweaked a little, but the crux of the Dr Stobie's advice hasn't really changed from the above.
It didn't really change today either.
Since his advice hasn't really changed, I guess my attitude hasn't really changed either. For the past couple of months I have been quite at peace making a comfy little niche for myself. The niche has been made up with a bit of exercise, a bit of coaching, a bit of work and a lot of time with my family. The niche is comfy enough that even if Dr Stobie had said I was good to go back to racing today, I am not entirely sure that I would have. I am currently enjoying the alternative. I don't think I am quite ready to utter the R word yet (retirement) but I think it is on the cards.
To be honest I am not sure retirement is the right word though since while I will stop racing as a Pro I don't think I will ever be able to remove myself from sport entirely. Instead of retirement I like to think of it as moving quietly from one phase of my sporting life to another. Perhaps transitioning is a better word than retirement. Transitioning from one phase to another. That new phase may contain some new sports (SUP paddling for example), it may include some new experiences (coaching) or it may include new approaches to old experiences (participating in events rather than racing them). I don't really know what the new phase will be, but I think I am at peace with the decision to find out.
The visit to Dr Stobie may not have given any great revelations in terms of approach, but that isn't to say it wasn't useful. Far from it. Looking at the various results from the Stress Test etc Dr Stobie was able to give me a bit more guidance on exercise. Keep it sensible is his guidance in a nutshell. Spikes of higher heart rates (160bpm +) are actually okay, but long sustained efforts (like pushing for an hour) are the thing to avoid. Trying to keep it less than 85% of max is goal, so sub 150ish. Funnily enough that sub 150 region is about where I usually find myself anyway, since the heart starts getting pretty uncomfortable beyond that. It is good news really because I can do a lot in that steady, sub 85% region.
I can live a life there.
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