The previous 12 months have been a year of massive highs and deep, dark lows. Tumultuous would be the word. It was a year that contained one of my proudest moments of racing, but at the same time a year in which I lost count of the number of times I thought I was never going to race again. I specifically remember deciding to stop racing on at least two separate occasions.
I started this year with a plate in my shoulder, a wound that wouldn't heal and the inability to train at all. As fitness faded and I went into surgery twice more I wondered if this was it. Surely the road back was just too far. When I fractured my elbow in April the doubt went into overdrive. Perhaps enough was enough. I had had some good races, maybe that was enough. I had never really done Ironman properly, but that probably wasn't for me anyway. Just too far.
I have since found out that several of my friends had similar thoughts, they never said anything, but they were pretty sure I was out in June. No coming back.
After a lot of introspection though I decided that I hadn't had enough and I wanted to race some more. Training followed and so did fitness. The body was returning, but it never felt quite enough. The first race back in Malaysia was the first time I decided that I was never going to race again. 40km into the bike and the day felt like it was falling a part. I had tried to get fit again and it just hadn't worked. No shame, you gave it a crack. Time to walk away. I didn't of course and the day went okay, but the race showed me that my head had a long way to go.
Race two of my return was up in Vietnam and I was given a bit of a free pass, a puncture meant that my head space was never really tested. Up until the puncture I felt like my race was going okay, but I never had to dig really deep. I was quite happy with myself for deciding to finish the race after the puncture, but in terms of getting outside of my comfort zone, I really dialed in the rest of the day.
Race three of my return was the big one. My A Race for my return, what the year had been building towards, Ironman Taiwan. My lead up had gone well, the body was fit and I thought my head was in a good place. Time for a good race. Heading up to Taiwan I sort of thought that the race might be my last one. Just get through a good Ironman I thought, perhaps that will be a logical point to stop.
Things really didn't go to plan though. A couple of days out from race day I got sick. By race day I was properly ill. My mind was plagued with doubt. Should I start, should I not? I didn't sleep the night before. The morning of the race I made the decision to DNS. I still think it was the right decision. I know how I was feeling and there is no doubt that I was not well enough to complete the brutal Ironman Taiwan. At the same time it is still a decision that I regret and question. Making the decision to not start really did my head in. I told my wife that that was it, I wasn't going to race again. I had been considering retirement and this was the sign. I came home firm in my decision. It was October and I had had enough.
A week after the Ironman Taiwan disaster I had decided that really I did want to keep racing, but I was going make a few changes. Less races, less travel, less stress. Plus I was going to race Ironman WA in December. I still wasn't sure whether Ironman racing was for me, but I was going to give myself one more chance. I was still pretty fit and I could do Ironman WA without having to travel far. Decision made I had about 10 weeks to get myself ready, both physically and mentally.
Heading into Ironman WA I had one of the best lead ups I have ever had. My body held up, no injuries, very few niggles, no illness. By race day I was about the fittest I had ever been. I was doing a lot of work mentally too. Really nailing down the the race and nutrition plan. Knowing exactly what I was going to do on race day, how to react if the day went badly, how to react if the day went well. By the time race day came around I was relaxed and I was ready. I didn't know what the day would contain, but I knew how I was going to approach it and I was up for the challenge.
I have written a lot about my Ironman WA race recently and so I am not going to regurgitate it again now, but needless to say it was a great day out for me. It was the culmination of a lot of work from the preceding 10 weeks, but also the culmination the preceding 5 years. From the moment I had first decided to give this triathlon thing a go. Everything I have learnt, all the training I have done, mentally and physically, went into that race.
My result at Ironman WA was perhaps the proudest moment I have ever had racing and it is a race that at the moment I consider to be my best ever. It is a race that gave me renewed focus, purpose and self belief for 2017. I spent most of 2016 wondering if I should be racing and now heading into 2017 I can't wait to be racing again and it is all due to that one result.
To come from the absolute low of a hospital bed to the ultimate high of a career best race is a turn around that I just can't believe. This time a year ago I was writing about how 2015 was a year I would never forget. I had got my pro license, I had raced pro for the first time and I had had a ball travelling around. I had finished the year injured, but I was expecting a quick recovery and I was very excited for 2016. As it turned out 2016 was not the year I expected. I spent 6 months of the year injured and I only completed 3 races. However, I will also remember 2016 as one of my most successful years containing my best result to date. A year where some things became clear and I learnt a lot about myself and that I could race Ironman. A year that will potentially be a turning point in my racing career, signalling a possible change in focus from Half Ironman to Ironman.
I am not sure what 2017 is going to bring, but I am pretty excited to find out and it is all because of the year that was 2016.
Can't wait.
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