The reason why

I am going to try and write something, but I am not sure how well it is going to come out. I am tired now and tired writing is not my forte, although I was struggling to write this before I was tired and so being tired may not make it any worse.

So over the last couple of days I have been exposed to a few people questioning why they do triathlon. Pondering their enjoyment. On the whole these were people who have their professional racing license and this was perhaps a factor. When I was considering applying for my license a friend of mine told me 'don't do it, everyone I know who has ends up hating triathlon'. It was an interesting and slightly concerning observation. I would have to say though that some of the people I have spoken to recently might fall into that category. If they aren't in the camp of giving away triathlon, they have definitely been strongly tempted to over the last couple of months.

While my experience was from chatting to professional licence holders, I wouldn't say the issue of questioning why is limited to just them. Pursuing our goals with single minded focus can be a good, and even necessary, thing sometimes. However, it can cause us to lose focus on why we set those goals in the first place. It can also lead us to put enormous amounts of pressure on ourselves. Enough pressure that when we fall short of those goals it might cause us to question why we bothered trying in the first place. Or resenting the sport that denied us success.

While pursing a lofty goal is admirable, and potentially a very powerful motivator, I think it is important to remember why we are doing this crazy activity in the first place. That reason may be different for each of us. For me I love to train and I love to race. When I am not doing those things I miss them. Well more accurately I feel like part of my life is missing. If I try and stop doing them I find that I always just drift back to competitive sport in one form or another (trust me I have tried a couple times before). Beyond that I do this because it is fun and I enjoy it. That is why I took my licence, for the adventure of it. Explore the unknown, take every opportunity given, do not die wondering. That is why I still have it, because I am still wondering and I am still enjoying the adventure. I have results I am happy with and results that I am not happy with, however, I try not to focus on those results as this whole thing is about the journey for me. I guess you could say I have no particular destination in mind, I am here for the ride. No matter what results may or may not come my way I intend to enjoy every minute that this ride gives me. That is the thought that I keep in my mind when I wonder what I am doing this.

I am determined to not end up one of those people who leaves this sport in a cloud of exhausted body and spirit. One day I will cease doing this sport competitively, that I know, but I hope that when that day comes it doesn't come with me resenting this thing that has given me so much. In fact I am quite determined not to.

I guess now and then we all need to remind ourselves that we do this thing because we enjoy it.